Finally fixed the whole DBD::mysql shenaningans by creating root-owned simlinks from /usr/local/mysql/lib/mysql (where the system was looking) to /usr/local/mysql/lib (where it was) or so.
Also, the script wouldn't work, giving me 'cannot connect' errors, until I went and used the GRANT command to give the user permission. Now it works!
update: I fixed this eventually; check the solution process here: MySQL Spatial abilities = bad, here: YEAH! and NO!, here: PostgreSQL & PostGIS! , here: PostGIS continued, but..., and finally fixed it here: success.